I’ve been told by my most loyal fan that if I mention a certain British guitar legend (1) more time in the near-future I’ll have lost a reader. So I’ll choose a different musical icon to illustrate my theme for today.
About a decade or so ago (gosh--probably even more than that) a very young, tight Mariah Carey got signed to a $25 million dollar deal by Sony Records. Actually, she was signed by Tommy Mottola who later became her husband. Course Tommy was 21 years older than Mariah, but that’s life. And for $25 million dollars, I’d say they both scored.
But if you know anything about life, you know the man always gets the better deal, and it didn’t take long for that to become clear to Mariah. Sure Tommy paid her a shitload of money, but that was Sony’s money--not his; whereas she had to shake her ass and pump-up her tits and belt out the tunes night after night for that same $25 million she started with. For I don’t know how many years or albums her contract dictated.
And the material she was asked to sing was so freaking bad! I’ll Be There. Forever. And who can forget the infamous Glitter soundtrack. White-bread, cross-over shit that seemed specifically designed to court an audience that had no soul or ethnicity whatsoever.
Well, say what you will about Mariah, but she’s from New York. Big city girl of mixed-race heritage who’s got some skills. I don’t know if she deserves to have more # 1 hits than Elvis (in fact, I'm sure she doesn’t), but she’s definitely got a range and (at least 5 or 10 years ago) a smoking hot, fuck-me body. All being wasted on cornball Disney soundtracks and an old man 21 years her senior. Mariah couldn’t be Mariah.
Aw, poor baby! For $25 million dollars I’d wear my underpants on my head and let a dildo hang out my ass on You Tube. That’s what a lot of people said when Mariah had her nervous breakdown and demanded to be released from her Sony contract. They said it about George Michael too. Spoiled divas.
Well, maybe. But at the end of the day, what’s the point in being loved if you’re not being yourself? That’s what Woody Allen said in Zelig and I’d say he’s a pretty great artist. The purpose of life is to discover and develop your soul, then search for avenues that help you express it. At least, that’s an artist’s life and I don’t care how much money you make; after awhile, if you can’t do that you begin to feel like a constipated Jew who hasn’t taken a shit in (2) weeks. Life becomes uncomfortable in your own skin.
As for myself, I’m an artist. I have an artist’s temperament and sensibility even if I make my money as an investigator. Or perhaps I should say made my money as an investigator.
‘Cause now I’m simply an artist--nothing more. I quit my job yesterday much to the shock and amazement of...well, pretty-much everybody, myself included. The head of my department’s jaw dropped open when I told him. My mom cried and thus far refuses to speak with me. My sister’s only concern is that now I may have to leave New York. But what about all the shows we’re gonna miss? Did you ever think about that Lodo? The shows. You love New York!
That’s true I do. And hopefully I’ll be able to stay. But its gonna be on my terms--no one else’s. You can do that when you have no wife, no kids, no house, and no car payment. You can be your own person.
And that’s what I am--now and forever.
Not real big on Mariah as an artist, but this is a smoking tune and vid:
8 comments:
That's big news. So, do you plan to keep writing under the pseudonym, or are you going to go totally raw now?
Good luck for sure. Woody Allen should be a hero to anyone who would aspire towards an authentic life.
'And if all my choices were poor, well, I made them...'-Black Francis
Oh wow Spence! A thought far down my list right now yet oh so close to my heart. Fact is, I may have to go even more covert if I start looking for a new investigator's job. That's actually how the whole pseudonym thing started in the first place. About 3 years ago (I can never stay at the same job a full 3 years) I was out of work and started my blog on blogspot. Obviously I couldn't use my real name, so...
It'll be interesting to see if I can find another investigator's job. Particularly here in NYC. I really don't know how to do anything else and I cant work in an office. But Im older now and...come to think of it I might be screwed! Ha!
Ho-ly crap Lodo! Did NOT see that coming. Into the chrysalis you go then. I won't say something fruity like I hope you emerge a beautiful butterfly but I'm excited to hear how things evolve.
I'll keep you posted Ava. This was not a planned thing--it was reactionary. My boss, did something really petty and cheap that I took great offense to. Made me look really foolish in front of my entire unit, to the point where he had to know pride would force me to act. His reasons or motivation? Completely unknown on my end. Maybe just for sport. But all I've ever done is make the guy look great every file review. Never a late report. Never a complaint. Whatever. I've written some posts about my office, but only when there's nothing more interesting.
Well, guess we'll see what happens. One thing's for sure--No Sell Out!!!
Shocked, I did not see this coming. I applaud you, I never had the guts to do what you did, and I should have many times. I wish you well in what ever you end up doing. I feel that you will alway end up on your feet.
And if you need a couple of days of relaxation come up to Maine and chill with us.
Wow Willie...that's a really big thing to me what you said there. Its funny how this whole synergy thing works. I've just been reading how Prince (who had his own infamous dispute with Warner Bros. Records) has come out publicly against the internet. He used to be a big advocate for it, but now he believes its ruined music and I'm not so sure he's wrong.
Yet its so ambiguous isn't it? Are these blogs and YouTube and networking sites--are they self-absorption that ultimately lead to isolation? Or a real way to connect? I'd have probably leaned toward the former point of view before reading your comment this a.m.; but now, just got thrown for another loop.
Thanks yo--a lot!!!
Deeper undercover? I'm not going to need to buy a decoder ring to read your blogs from now on, am I?
That last exchange between you and Willie was heartwarming.
Prince is a great musician, but he's also a Jahova's Witness and...assless chaps? Really?
It shouldn't be a surprise to discover there are things that man should reconsider.
Have to say Willie's pretty high on my list right now. Great guy. And Im the kind of freak that'll go up to Maine. (I imagine at this moment Willie's like, "Hmmmmm."). Don't worry Willie!--unannounced drop-byes aren't my style.
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